More tranny stories later!
i just google imaged poop.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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