i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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