You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
