C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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