so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize