Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
