if you like me you must not know who I am
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
