I want to stick my p in your. b.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
