as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
