For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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