I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
