filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
