You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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