i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
