Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I lost the right to judge tonight
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
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