So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
