And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
