she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Randomize
