i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
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