i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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