this beer tastes like vomit already
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
