fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
