Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
