Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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