**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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