So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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