umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize