i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
