Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
