Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.

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(480): View more from Arizona

They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."

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(732): View more from New Jersey

you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."

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(802): View more from Vermont

Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.

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(813): View more from Florida

i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.

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(972): View more from Texas

He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.

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(406): View more from Montana

I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on

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(734): View more from Michigan

I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...

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