You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
