I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
