I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
