Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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