i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
