i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
