He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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