i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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