Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
