I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
