Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Damn victory sex feels great
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
