he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
