I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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