Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
