My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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