never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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