My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Dick very happy bro
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
