You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
