ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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