I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
