rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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