just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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