I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
