She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Small penises have feelings too.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
